NirvanaPeace

Peace, Love, Joy, and Imagination…

About Religion

Two Brothers

A couple had two little boys, ages 8 and 10, were excessively mischievous. The two were always getting into trouble and their parents could be assured that if any mischief occurred in their town their two young sons were in some way involved. The parents were at their wits end as to what to do about their sons’ behavior. The mother had heard that a clergyman in town had been successful in disciplining children in the past, so she asked her husband if he thought they should send the boys to speak with the clergyman. The husband said, “We might as well. We need to do something before I really lose my temper!”

The clergyman agreed to speak with the boys, but asked to see them individually. The 8-year-old went to meet with him first. The clergyman sat the boy down and asked him sternly, “Where is God?” The boy made no response, so the clergyman repeated the question in an even sterner tone, “Where is God?” Again the boy made no attempt to answer, so the clergyman raised his voice even more and shook his finger in the boy’s face, “WHERE IS GOD?”

At that the boy bolted from the room and ran directly home slamming himself in his closet. His older brother followed him into the closet and said, “What happened?”

The younger brother replied, “We are in BIG trouble this time. God is missing and they think we did it!”

Letter to Jesus

Little Leroy went to his mother demanding a new bicycle. His mother decided that he should take a look at himself and the way he acts. She said, “Well Leroy, it isn’t Christmas and we don’t have the money to just go out and buy you anything you want. So why don’t you write a letter to Jesus and pray for one instead. After his temper tantrum his mother sent him to his room. He finally sat down to write a letter to Jesus. Dear Jesus, I’ve been a good boy this year and would appreciate a new bicycle. Your Friend, Leroy

Now Leroy knew that Jesus really knew what kind of boy he was (Brat). So, he ripped up the letter and decided to give it another try. Dear Jesus, I’ve been an OK boy this year and I want a new bicycle. Yours Truly, Leroy

Well, Leroy knew this wasn’t totally honest so he tore it up and tried again. Dear Jesus, I’ve thought about being a good boy this year and can I have a new bicycle? Leroy.

Well, Leroy looked deep down in his heart, which by the way was what his mother was really wanting. He crumpled up the letter threw it in the trash can and went running outside. He aimlessly wandered about; depressed because of the way he treated his parents and really considering his actions. He finally found himself in front of a Catholic Church. Leroy went inside and knelt down, looking around not knowing what he should really do. Leroy finally got up and began to walk out the door and was looking at all the statues. All of a sudden he grabbed a small one and ran out the door. He went home hid it under his bed and wrote this letter.

Jesus,

I’ve broken most of the Ten Commandments; shot spit wads in school, tore up my sister’s Barbie doll and lots more. I’m desperate. I’ve got your mama. If you ever want to see her again, give me a bike.

You know who.

The Sins of Lying

A minister told his congregation, “Next week I plan to preach about the sin of lying. To help you understand my sermon, I want you all to read Mark 17.” The following Sunday, as he prepared to deliver his sermon, the minister asked for a show of hands. He wanted to know how many had read Mark 17. Every hand went up. The minister smiled and said, “Mark has only sixteen chapters. I will now proceed with my sermon on the sin of lying.”

Proud Father

A man has six children and is very proud of his achievement. He is so proud of himself that he starts calling his wife “Mother of Six” in spite of her objections. One night they went to a party. The man decides that it’s time to go home, and wants to find out if his wife is ready to leave as well. He shouts at the top of his voice, “Shall we go home, Mother of Six?” His wife, irritated by her husband’s lack of discretion shouts back… “Anytime you’re ready, Father of Four!”

 Nightly Prayer

One night a father overheard his son saying his prayers “God bless Mommy and Daddy and Gramma. Goodbye Grandpa. “Well, the father thought it was strange, but he soon forgot about it. The next day, the Grandfather died. About a month or two later the father heard his son saying his prayers again “God bless Mommy. God bless Daddy. Goodbye Grandma.” The next day the grandmother died. Well, the father was getting more than a little worried about the whole situation. Two weeks later, The father once again overheard his sons prayers. “God Bless Mommy. Good bye Daddy. “This alone nearly gave the father a heart attack. He didn’t say anything but he got up early to go to work, so that he would miss the traffic. He stayed all through lunch and dinner. Finally after midnight he went home. He was still alive! When he got home he apologized to his wife. “I am sorry Honey.I had a very bad day at work today. “You think you’ve had a bad day? YOU THINK YOU’VE HAD A BAD DAY!?”, The wife yelled, “The mailman dropped dead on my doorstep this morning!!!

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October 30, 2008 - Posted by | Uncategorized

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