NirvanaPeace

Peace, Love, Joy, and Imagination…

Grandma goes to court…

Lawyers should never ask a Mississippi grandma a question if they aren’t prepared for the answer.

 

In a trial, a Southern small-town prosecuting attorney called his first witness, a grandmotherly, elderly woman to the stand. He approached her and asked, ‘Mrs. Jones, do you know me?’

 

She responded, ‘Why, yes, I do know you, Mr. Williams. I’ve known you since you were a boy, and frankly, you’ve been a big disappointment to me. You lie, you cheat on your wife, and you manipulate people and talk about them behind their backs. You think you’re a big shot when you haven’t the brains to realize you’ll never amount to anything more than a two-bit paper pusher. Yes, I know you.’

 

The lawyer was stunned. Not knowing what else to do, he pointed across the room and asked, ‘Mrs. Jones, do you know the defense attorney?’

 

She again replied, ‘ Why yes, I do. I’ve known Mr. Bradley since he was a youngster, too. He’s lazy, bigoted, and he has a drinking problem. He can’t build a normal relationship with anyone, and his law practice is one of the worst in the entire state. Not to mention he cheated on his wife with three different women. One of them was your wife. Yes, I know him.’

 

The defense attorney nearly died.

 

The judge asked both counselors to approach the bench and, in a very quiet voice, said, ‘If either of you idiots asks her if she knows me, I’ll send you both to the electric chair.’

January 29, 2009 Posted by | Funnies | , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Will you give up your guns if the government tells you to?

January 23, 2009 Posted by | Dealing with..., Gun Ban Video, Videos | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

American Prayer for the New America

January 21, 2009 Posted by | American Prayer video, Videos | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

“Greatness is never a given. It must be earned. Starting today, we must pick ourselves up, dust ourselves off, and begin again the work of remaking America. It is ultimately the faith and determination of the American people upon which this nation relies.” “America…We Are Ready To Lead Again!”

Obama

Below is the full text of President Barak Obama’s inauguration speech.

Full transcript as prepared for delivery of President Barack Obama’s inaugural remarks on Jan. 20, 2009, at the United States Capitol in Washington, D.C.

My fellow citizens:

I stand here today humbled by the task before us, grateful for the trust you have bestowed, mindful of the sacrifices borne by our ancestors. I thank President Bush for his service to our nation, as well as the generosity and cooperation he has shown throughout this transition.

Forty-four Americans have now taken the presidential oath. The words have been spoken during rising tides of prosperity and the still waters of peace. Yet, every so often the oath is taken amidst gathering clouds and raging storms. At these moments, America has carried on not simply because of the skill or vision of those in high office, but because We the People have remained faithful to the ideals of our forbearers, and true to our founding documents.

So it has been. So it must be with this generation of Americans.

That we are in the midst of crisis is now well understood. Our nation is at war, against a far-reaching network of violence and hatred. Our economy is badly weakened, a consequence of greed and irresponsibility on the part of some, but also our collective failure to make hard choices and prepare the nation for a new age. Homes have been lost; jobs shed; businesses shuttered. Our health care is too costly; our schools fail too many; and each day brings further evidence that the ways we use energy strengthen our adversaries and threaten our planet.

These are the indicators of crisis, subject to data and statistics. Less measurable but no less profound is a sapping of confidence across our land – a nagging fear that America’s decline is inevitable, and that the next generation must lower its sights.

Today I say to you that the challenges we face are real. They are serious and they are many.

They will not be met easily or in a short span of time. But know this, America – they will be met. On this day, we gather because we have chosen hope over fear, unity of purpose over conflict and discord.

On this day, we come to proclaim an end to the petty grievances and false promises, the recriminations and worn out dogmas, that for far too long have strangled our politics.

We remain a young nation, but in the words of Scripture, the time has come to set aside childish things. The time has come to reaffirm our enduring spirit; to choose our better history; to carry forward that precious gift, that noble idea, passed on from generation to generation: the God-given promise that all are equal, all are free, and all deserve a chance to pursue their full measure of happiness.

In reaffirming the greatness of our nation, we understand that greatness is never a given. It must be earned. Our journey has never been one of short-cuts or settling for less. It has not been the path for the faint-hearted – for those who prefer leisure over work, or seek only the pleasures of riches and fame. Rather, it has been the risk-takers, the doers, the makers of things – some celebrated but more often men and women obscure in their labor, who have carried us up the long, rugged path towards prosperity and freedom.

For us, they packed up their few worldly possessions and traveled across oceans in search of a new life.

For us, they toiled in sweatshops and settled the West; endured the lash of the whip and plowed the hard earth.

For us, they fought and died, in places like Concord and Gettysburg; Normandy and Khe Sahn. Time and again these men and women struggled and sacrificed and worked till their hands were raw so that we might live a better life. They saw America as bigger than the sum of our individual ambitions; greater than all the differences of birth or wealth or faction.

This is the journey we continue today. We remain the most prosperous, powerful nation on Earth. Our workers are no less productive than when this crisis began. Our minds are no less inventive, our goods and services no less needed than they were last week or last month or last year. Our capacity remains undiminished. But our time of standing pat, of protecting narrow interests and putting off unpleasant decisions – that time has surely passed. Starting today, we must pick ourselves up, dust ourselves off, and begin again the work of remaking America.

For everywhere we look, there is work to be done. The state of the economy calls for action, bold and swift, and we will act – not only to create new jobs, but to lay a new foundation for growth. We will build the roads and bridges, the electric grids and digital lines that feed our commerce and bind us together. We will restore science to its rightful place, and wield technology’s wonders to raise health care’s quality and lower its cost. We will harness the sun and the winds and the soil to fuel our cars and run our factories. And we will transform our schools and colleges and universities to meet the demands of a new age. All this we can do. And all this we will do.

Now, there are some who question the scale of our ambitions – who suggest that our system cannot tolerate too many big plans. Their memories are short. For they have forgotten what this country has already done; what free men and women can achieve when imagination is joined to common purpose, and necessity to courage.

What the cynics fail to understand is that the ground has shifted beneath them – that the stale political arguments that have consumed us for so long no longer apply. The question we ask today is not whether our government is too big or too small, but whether it works – whether it helps families find jobs at a decent wage, care they can afford, a retirement that is dignified. Where the answer is yes, we intend to move forward. Where the answer is no, programs will end. And those of us who manage the public’s dollars will be held to account – to spend wisely, reform bad habits, and do our business in the light of day – because only then can we restore the vital trust between a people and their government.

Nor is the question before us whether the market is a force for good or ill. Its power to generate wealth and expand freedom is unmatched, but this crisis has reminded us that without a watchful eye, the market can spin out of control – and that a nation cannot prosper long when it favors only the prosperous. The success of our economy has always depended not just on the size of our Gross Domestic Product, but on the reach of our prosperity; on our ability to extend opportunity to every willing heart – not out of charity, but because it is the surest route to our common good.

As for our common defense, we reject as false the choice between our safety and our ideals. Our Founding Fathers, faced with perils we can scarcely imagine, drafted a charter to assure the rule of law and the rights of man, a charter expanded by the blood of generations. Those ideals still light the world, and we will not give them up for expedience’s sake. And so to all other peoples and governments who are watching today, from the grandest capitals to the small village where my father was born: know that America is a friend of each nation and every man, woman, and child who seeks a future of peace and dignity, and that we are ready to lead once more.

Recall that earlier generations faced down fascism and communism not just with missiles and tanks, but with sturdy alliances and enduring convictions. They understood that our power alone cannot protect us, nor does it entitle us to do as we please. Instead, they knew that our power grows through its prudent use; our security emanates from the justness of our cause, the force of our example, the tempering qualities of humility and restraint.

We are the keepers of this legacy. Guided by these principles once more, we can meet those new threats that demand even greater effort – even greater cooperation and understanding between nations. We will begin to responsibly leave Iraq to its people, and forge a hard-earned peace in Afghanistan. With old friends and former foes, we will work tirelessly to lessen the nuclear threat, and roll back the specter of a warming planet. We will not apologize for our way of life, nor will we waver in its defense, and for those who seek to advance their aims by inducing terror and slaughtering innocents, we say to you now that our spirit is stronger and cannot be broken; you cannot outlast us, and we will defeat you.

For we know that our patchwork heritage is a strength, not a weakness. We are a nation of Christians and Muslims, Jews and Hindus – and non-believers. We are shaped by every language and culture, drawn from every end of this Earth; and because we have tasted the bitter swill of civil war and segregation, and emerged from that dark chapter stronger and more united, we cannot help but believe that the old hatreds shall someday pass; that the lines of tribe shall soon dissolve; that as the world grows smaller, our common humanity shall reveal itself; and that America must play its role in ushering in a new era of peace.

To the Muslim world, we seek a new way forward, based on mutual interest and mutual respect.

To those leaders around the globe who seek to sow conflict, or blame their society’s ills on the West – know that your people will judge you on what you can build, not what you destroy. To those who cling to power through corruption and deceit and the silencing of dissent, know that you are on the wrong side of history; but that we will extend a hand if you are willing to unclench your fist.

To the people of poor nations, we pledge to work alongside you to make your farms flourish and let clean waters flow; to nourish starved bodies and feed hungry minds. And to those nations like ours that enjoy relative plenty, we say we can no longer afford indifference to suffering outside our borders; nor can we consume the world’s resources without regard to effect. For the world has changed, and we must change with it.

As we consider the road that unfolds before us, we remember with humble gratitude those brave Americans who, at this very hour, patrol far-off deserts and distant mountains. They have something to tell us today, just as the fallen heroes who lie in Arlington whisper through the ages.

We honor them not only because they are guardians of our liberty, but because they embody the spirit of service; a willingness to find meaning in something greater than themselves. And yet, at this moment – a moment that will define a generation – it is precisely this spirit that must inhabit us all.

For as much as government can do and must do, it is ultimately the faith and determination of the American people upon which this nation relies. It is the kindness to take in a stranger when the levees break, the selflessness of workers who would rather cut their hours than see a friend lose their job which sees us through our darkest hours. It is the firefighter’s courage to storm a stairway filled with smoke, but also a parent’s willingness to nurture a child, that finally decides our fate.

Our challenges may be new. The instruments with which we meet them may be new. But those values upon which our success depends – hard work and honesty, courage and fair play, tolerance and curiosity, loyalty and patriotism – these things are old. These things are true. They have been the quiet force of progress throughout our history. What is demanded then is a return to these truths. What is required of us now is a new era of responsibility – a recognition, on the part of every American, that we have duties to ourselves, our nation, and the world, duties that we do not grudgingly accept but rather seize gladly, firm in the knowledge that there is nothing so satisfying to the spirit, so defining of our character, than giving our all to a difficult task.

This is the price and the promise of citizenship.

This is the source of our confidence – the knowledge that God calls on us to shape an uncertain destiny.

This is the meaning of our liberty and our creed – why men and women and children of every race and every faith can join in celebration across this magnificent mall, and why a man whose father less than sixty years ago might not have been served at a local restaurant can now stand before you to take a most sacred oath.

So let us mark this day with remembrance, of who we are and how far we have traveled. In the year of America’s birth, in the coldest of months, a small band of patriots huddled by dying campfires on the shores of an icy river. The capital was abandoned. The enemy was advancing. The snow was stained with blood. At a moment when the outcome of our revolution was most in doubt, the father of our nation ordered these words be read to the people:

“Let it be told to the future world…that in the depth of winter, when nothing but hope and virtue could survive…that the city and the country, alarmed at one common danger, came forth to meet [it].”

America. In the face of our common dangers, in this winter of our hardship, let us remember these timeless words. With hope and virtue, let us brave once more the icy currents, and endure what storms may come. Let it be said by our children’s children that when we were tested we refused to let this journey end, that we did not turn back nor did we falter; and with eyes fixed on the horizon and God’s grace upon us, we carried forth that great gift of freedom and delivered it safely to future generations.

Barack Obama signature.png

Signature of  President Barak Obama

January 20, 2009 Posted by | Obama, Quotes | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

The Tip and What It Says

A business man who travels regularly is staying at a hotel where there is a Cafe/Bar. He eats dinner, has a few drinks and when the tab is presented… pays his bill. The waitress brings back his change and hands it to him. He looks at the three pennies, and lays them on the table as he walks away.

Three months later he is back at the same hotel…
He enters the Cafe and orders food and a drink… the same waitress is his server and comments “I remember you, Sir.”

He: “You do?”

She: “Yes Sir… you were here about three months ago and sat in my section.”

He: “You have a good memory dear.”

She: “Yes, I do… you left three pennies on the table.”

He: “Wow, you DO have a good memory.”

She: “I learned a lot about you from those three pennies.”

He: “Hows that?”

She: “Well, the first penny tells me that you are a bachelor.”

He: “Yes, as a matter of fact… I am.”

She: “The second tells me that you are a frugal person, and don’t just throw your money around, and probably have most every dollar you have ever earned.”

He: “Wow, you are really good reading pennies. What does the third penny tell you?”

She: “Oh… That’s the one that tells me your father was a bachelor too!”

January 20, 2009 Posted by | Dealing with..., Jobs | , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Nine Things Women Say

1. FINE: This is the word a woman uses to end an arugment when she is right, and you need to shut up.

2. FIVE MINUTES:  If she’s dressing, it means a half hour. Five minutes only means five minutes if you’ve been given five minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.

3. NOTHING:  This is the calm before the storm. This means something, and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with “nothing” usually end up in FINE.

4. GO AHEAD:  This is a dare, not permission-Don’t Do It.

5. LOUD SIGH:  A non-verbal statement that means she thinks you are an idiot and why is she standing there, aruging about Nothing? (see #3)

6. THAT’S OKAY:  This is a very dangerous statement. That’s Okay means she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you’ll pay for your mistake!

7. THANKS:  When a woman thanks you don’t question or faint, just say you are welcome.

8. WHATEVER:  This is a woman’s way of saying F@&k You!

9. DON’  WORRY ABOUT IT, I’VE GOT IT:  This is something a woman has asked a man to do several times, and now she’s doing it herself. This will result in a man asking “what’s wrong?” See #3

January 20, 2009 Posted by | Men/Women | , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Gibson SG Guitar

January 19, 2009 Posted by | Music | , , , , , | Leave a comment

Can You Believe This Is Legal?

 nataliedylan

 A 22-year-old woman is selling her virginity online — offering her body to bidders nationwide in an auction that reportedly has netted a $3.7 million offer — and the law isn’t doing a thing to stop her.

The FBI isn’t interested. The U.S. attorney doesn’t care. Everything is fine by local police, and she isn’t breaking any laws.

That’s because Natalie Dylan, a made-up name for a real 22-year-old California college grad, is marketing her maidenhead in Nevada, where prostitution is legal.

But some religious legal groups are objecting to the sexual sale, saying they are concerned that its influence may reach beyond the borders of the “Battle Born” bordello state.

“It does seem crazy,” said Mathew Staver, director of the Liberty Center for Law and Policy. “The rest of the country has an interest in stopping that kind of activity from spreading from Nevada to their home state.”

Staver said because the bidding was being conducted online, federal law could be applied to stop the auction from going through.

“Nevada has been out of step with the rest of the country for many years with regards to prostitution, and that’s why I think it’s important for federal prosecutors to look into this, so that Nevada does not dictate the morals and moral decency for the rest of the nation,” Staver told FOXNews.com.

But federal authorities said there wasn’t much they could do about the case, and deflected attention toward local statutes.

“Being that prostitution is legal in the area that she’s listing from, and she’s over 18 and it’s consensual, I would defer it to local police authorities,” said David Staretz, a spokesman for the FBI’s Las Vegas field office.

The Postal Inspection Service, which monitors the Internet for some illegal transactions, is “currently unaware of any specific fed prohibition against this activity,” said spokesman Al Weissman.

The office of the U.S. attorney in Nevada said that it has prosecuted over 200 cases in the last six years involving the solicitation of minors online, but it had never worked on a case like this involving adults.

The Moonlite Bunny Ranch, the brothel that is arranging and hosting the deal, sounded especially gung-ho about Dylan.

“Natalie is a virgin and would like to sell this priceless and rare commodity in a very exclusive and private setting,” says the Bunny Ranch Web site.

While the commodity’s rarity may be debatable, more than 10,000 bidders have come forth to put a price tag on Dylan’s purity. And if the Bunny Ranch’s owner is to be believed, someone has offered $3.7 million, a price far above rubies.

“One time only she will appear at the bunny ranch and give up her virginity to the highest bidder,” says the brothel’s Web site in a needlessly repetitive statement. Dylan says she is trying to finance graduate studies for her sister and herself.

Some legal experts say they’re well within their rights to make the sale.

“It’s a First Amendment issue. You can advertise goods or services that are illegal where they’re advertised but legal where they’re performed,” said Marc Randazza, an attorney specializing in first amendment law. “What’s she’s advertising is as legal as toast with the crust cut off where she is.”

Randazza said some prosecutors might be eager to jump on the case, but that this “commercial speech” is protected.

“If this is legal where it’s being advertised” — in Nevada — “the government can’t say you can’t advertise it here,” he told FOXNews.com.

January 19, 2009 Posted by | News of the Weird | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Don’t Give Up When Things Look Bad…

The older I get the more I understand we have no control over what life gives us, be we do have control over how we react to it.

When the going gets rough don’t try to handle it alone. There are just too many others who’ve been through the same or worse who survived with a message of hope to share with you.

If you have family and friends, reach out to them. Refuse to focus on the problem.

Remember the lessons of you life where you thought this or that was the ‘end of the world’ and now you look back and see how wrong you were.

Life is fickle enough to ‘fool’ you with a rainbow when you’re sure there will be nothing but rain.

January 19, 2009 Posted by | Dealing with... | , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

The Power of a Positive Attitude

January 19, 2009 Posted by | Dealing with..., Quotes | , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment