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Big Johnson Motorcycles

For those that don’t know:

At a press conference late Monday, the CEO of Johnson Marine,
makers of Johnson outboard marine engines and other recreational
equipment, unveiled a new line of heavyweight cruiser style
motorcycles designed to compete head to head with industry leader
Peter Long, Johnson brands marketing manager said, “We have studied
the market and determined that Harley, while highly successful,
has narrowly missed the mark when targeting motorcycle buyers”. Long
added, “We at Johnson are convinced that our product hits the target
dead center and promises to draw sales away from Harley-Davidson
in a way no other motorcycle has been able to accomplish”.
The new line of bikes, marketed under the name Big Johnson
Motorcycles, will, according to Long, deliver what Harley has
only promised. “Our research show that this, a Big Johnson, is
what Harley buyers are really after”.
At the unveiling of the new line Monday, several current Harley
owners agreed. “When I bought my Harley, what I really needed was
a Big Johnson,” said one Harley owner.” But I see now that riding
a Harley is no replacement for having a Big Johnson.”
Manager Long also said that his company would follow the lead of
Harley-Davidson and cash in on a huge market for non-motorcycle
related products. “We realize that not every guy can have a Big
Johnson,” said Long, “But image is very important to people. If
they don’t have a Big Johnson, they at least want to project the
image of having one.”
Asked if he anticipated Big Johnsons showing up in the hands of
Harley owners, Long said it was unlikely. “I just don’t see the
need to have a Harley if you have a Big Johnson,” he said. “And I
can’t imagine someone who spends all their resources to acquire
a Harley having a Big Johnson. I think it boils down to this –
You either have a Harley, or you have a Big Johnson, but you
are not likely to have both.” “Given the choice,” said Long,
“I think most guys will opt for the Big Johnson.”
Another force driving sales for the company will come from women. A
survey of the wives and girlfriends of nearly 1,000 potential
motorcycle buyers indicates less than 5% would approve of their
partner spending $15,000 on a Harley Davidson. But, when asked if
they would be willing to pay the same amount of money to get their
partner a Big Johnson, nearly 4 out 5 thought that would be money
well spent.
One female present at the product unveiling was quoted as saying,
“There is no way I will let Lonnie drop 15 grand on another one of
those Harleys, but 15 grand to get him a Big Johnson? Well, that’s
something we could both enjoy, and it’s something he really needs.”
Carla Roundheel, manager of the dealership network now being
established, said her motto is simple. “I service what we sell.” Big
Johnson Motorcycles will be traded on the New York stock exchange
under the abbreviation PNSNV.

February 13, 2009 - Posted by | Jokes | , , , , , ,


  1. […] Johnson motorcycles Big Johnson Motorcycles NirvanaPeace __________________ David 2007 V2K Classic LT VROC#23977 […]

    Pingback by Big Johnson motorcycles - Kawasaki Motorcycle Forums | April 12, 2009

  2. I would like a picture of this “Big Johnson Motorcycle” I am interested in buying one. Send the picture to Thank you…Joe Maltby

    Comment by Joe Maltby | May 18, 2009

  3. This is truly an interesting story. I am sure that there are many men who would gladly get rid of their harleys if they could have a big johnson. I for one cannot wait to see the big johnson motorcycles in the flesh. I think that as riders feel and rub the finish of the big johnsons that they will grow in popularity. I think that women will love the big johnsons. When they get on it and have it between their legs, well I think that they will come to love it. Best wishes to all and a very good joke

    Comment by ken | July 18, 2011

  4. I for one ride a Harley and many women have rode my Johnson…not to say it is a Big one but the Harley fufills their wjshes…only ridin them for 50 some years…..females first then Harleys…Merry Christmas Yall

    Comment by Me | December 16, 2012

  5. How can Big Johnson Motorcycles compete without no motorcycles? I’ve been looking for some pics and I have seen nothing..It takes more than “words” to compete with anybody with any product! We are bikers…back up your words…”where’s the BEEF?”

    Comment by Robert (Rack) Riley | July 18, 2019

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