NirvanaPeace

Peace, Love, Joy, and Imagination…

Don’t mess with the old dogs…

A wealthy old gentleman decides to go on a hunting safari in Africa , taking his faithful, elderly dog named Killer, along for the company.

One day the old dog starts chasing rabbits and before long, discovers that he’s lost. Wandering about, he notices a leopard heading rapidly in his direction with the intention of having lunch.

The old dog thinks, “Oh, no! I’m in it now!” Noticing some bones on the ground close by, he immediately settles down to chew on the bones with his back to the approaching cat. Just as the leopard is about to leap, the old dog exclaims loudly, “Boy, that was one delicious leopard! I wonder if there are any more around here?”

Hearing this, the young leopard halts his attack in mid-strike, a look of terror comes over him and he slinks away into the trees. “Whew!”, says the leopard, “That was close! That old dog nearly had me!”

Meanwhile, a monkey who had been watching the whole scene from a nearby tree, figures he can put this knowledge to good use and trade it for protection from the leopard. So, off he goes, but the old dog sees him heading after the leopard with great speed, and figures that something must be up.

The monkey soon catches up with the leopard, spills the beans and strikes a deal for himself with the leopard.

The young leopard is furious at being made a fool of and says, “Here, monkey, hop on my back and see what’s going to happen to that conniving canine!”

Now, the old dog sees the leopard coming with the monkey on his back and thinks, “What am I going to do now?”, but instead of running, the dog sits down with his back to his attackers, pretending he hasn’t seen them yet, and just when they get close enough to hear, the old dog says…

“Now where’s that damn monkey? I sent him off an hour ago to bring me another leopard!”

Moral of this story…
Don’t mess with the old dogs… age and skill will always overcome youth and treachery!

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February 3, 2009 Posted by | Funnies | , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

The Geography of a Woman…and a Man

 THE GEOGRAPHY OF A WOMAN
Between 18 and 22, a woman is like Africa ,
half discovered, half wild, fertile and naturally beautiful!

Between 23 and 30, a woman is like Europe ,
well developed and open to trade, especially for someone with cash.

Between 31 and 35, a woman is like Spain ,
very hot, relaxed and convinced of her own beauty.

Between 36 and 40, a woman is like Greece ,
gently aging but still a warm and desirable place to visit.

Between 41 and 50, a woman is like Great Britain,
with a glorious and all conquering past.

Between 51 and 60, a woman is like Israel ,
has been through war and doesn’t make the same mistakes twice,
takes care of business.

Between 61 and 70, a woman is like Canada,
self-preserving, but open to meeting new people.

After 70, she becomes Tibet , wildly beautiful,
with a mysterious past and the wisdom of the ages…only
those with an adventurous spirit and a thirst for spiritual knowledge visit there.

THE GEOGRAPHY OF A MAN
Between 1 and 70, a man is like Iran ,
Ruled by Nuts.

December 10, 2008 Posted by | Funnies, Men/Women | , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment