NirvanaPeace

Peace, Love, Joy, and Imagination…

Dear IRS…

Actual ‘Letter to the Editor’ from the February 5th edition of the Wichita Falls, Texas, Times Record Newspaper.

Dear IRS,

I am sorry to inform you that I will not be able to pay taxes owed April
15, but all is not lost.

I have paid these taxes: accounts receivable tax, building permit tax, CDL tax, cigarette tax, corporate income tax, dog licence tax, federal income tax, unemployment tax, gasoline tax, hunting licence tax, fishing licence tax, waterfowl stamp tax, inheritance tax, inventory tax, liquor tax, luxury tax, medicare tax, city, school and county property tax
(up 33 percent last 4 years), real estate tax, social security tax, road usage tax, toll road tax, state and city sales tax, recreational vehicle tax, state franchise tax, state unemployment tax, telephone federal excise tax, telephone federal state and local surcharge tax, telephone minimum usage surcharge tax, telephone state and local tax, utility tax, vehicle licence registration tax, capitol gains tax, lease severance tax, oil and gas assessment tax, Colorado property tax, Texas, Colorado, Wyoming, Oklahoma and New Mexico sales tax, and many more that I can’t recall but I have run out of space and money.

When you do not receive my check April 15, just know that it is an honest mistake. Please treat me the same way you treated Congressmen Charles Rangle, Chris Dodd, Barney Frank and ex-Congressman Tom Dashelle and, of course, your boss Timothy Geithner. No penalties and no interest.

P.S. I will make at least a partial payment as soon as I get my stimulus check.

Ed Barnett

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March 4, 2009 Posted by | Dealing with... | , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Thoughts on Getting Older…

Birds of a
feather flock together and

crap on your car.

When I’m feeling down, I like to whistle. It
makes the neighbor’s dog run to the end
of his chain and gag himself.

A penny saved is a government oversight.

The real art of conversation is not only to say
the right thing at the right time, but also to leave
unsaid the wrong thing at the tempting moment.

The older you get, the tougher it is to lose weight,
because by then your body and your fat
have gotten to be really good friends.

The easiest way to find something lost around
the house is to buy a replacement.

He who hesitates is probably right.

Did you ever notice: The Roman
Numerals for forty (40) are ‘ XL.’

If you think there is good in everybody,
you haven’t met everybody.

If you can smile when things go wrong,
you have someone in mind to blame.

The sole purpose of a child’s middle name
is so he can tell when he’s really in trouble.

There’s always a lot to be thankful for if you take time
to look for it. For example I am sitting here
thinking how nice it is that wrinkles don’t hurt.

Did you ever notice: When you put the 2 words
‘The’ and ‘IRS’ together it spells ‘Theirs.’

Aging: Eventually you will reach a point when you stop
lying about your age and start bragging about it.

The older we get, the fewer things
seem worth waiting in line for..

When you are dissatisfied and would like
to go back to youth, think of Algebra.

You know you are getting old when
everything either dries up or leaks.

One of the many things no one tells you about
aging is that it is such a nice change from being young.

Ah, being young is beautiful,
but being old is comfortable.

First you forget names, then you forget faces. Then
you forget to pull up your zipper. It’s worse
when you forget to pull it down.

Some people try to turn back their odometers. Not
me, I want people to know ‘why’ I look this way.
I’ve traveled a long way and some of the roads weren’t paved.

January 19, 2009 Posted by | Dealing with..., Funnies | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment