NirvanaPeace

Peace, Love, Joy, and Imagination…

Men and Women Jokes

A man calls home to his wife and says, ‘Honey, I have been asked to fly to Canada with my boss and several of his friends for fishing. We’ll be gone for a long weekend. This is a good opportunity for me to get that promotion I’ve been wanting so, could you please pack enough clothes for a 3 day weekend?, …and also get out my rod and tackle box from the attic?
We’re leaving at 4:30 pm from the office and I will swing by the house to pick my things up,’ ‘…. Oh! … and please pack my new navy blue silk pajamas.’

The wife thinks this sounds a bit fishy, but, being the good wife,
she does exactly what her husband asked. Following the long weekend he came home a little tired, but, otherwise, looking good. The wife welcomes him home and asks if he caught many fish?

He says, ‘Yes! Lots of Walleyes, some Bass, and a few Pike.
But why didn’t you pack my new blue silk pajamas like I asked you to do?

The wife replies, ‘I did. They’re in your tackle box.’

A man is undressing in the locker room of the country club after a round of golf, and one of his buddies notices that he is wearing a pair of panties.

“When did you start wearing women’s underwear?” the buddy asks.

The man replied, “Ever since my wife found a pair in the glove box of my car.”

February 13, 2009 Posted by | Jokes, Men/Women | , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Nine Things Women Say

1. FINE: This is the word a woman uses to end an arugment when she is right, and you need to shut up.

2. FIVE MINUTES:  If she’s dressing, it means a half hour. Five minutes only means five minutes if you’ve been given five minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.

3. NOTHING:  This is the calm before the storm. This means something, and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with “nothing” usually end up in FINE.

4. GO AHEAD:  This is a dare, not permission-Don’t Do It.

5. LOUD SIGH:  A non-verbal statement that means she thinks you are an idiot and why is she standing there, aruging about Nothing? (see #3)

6. THAT’S OKAY:  This is a very dangerous statement. That’s Okay means she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you’ll pay for your mistake!

7. THANKS:  When a woman thanks you don’t question or faint, just say you are welcome.

8. WHATEVER:  This is a woman’s way of saying F@&k You!

9. DON’  WORRY ABOUT IT, I’VE GOT IT:  This is something a woman has asked a man to do several times, and now she’s doing it herself. This will result in a man asking “what’s wrong?” See #3

January 20, 2009 Posted by | Men/Women | , , , , , , , | Leave a comment