Peace, Love, Joy, and Imagination…

Joke of the Day

You are on the bus when you suddenly realize … you need to fart.
The music is really loud, so you time your farts with the beat. After
a couple of songs, you start to feel better as you approach your stop.

As you are leaving the bus, people are really staring you down, and
that’s when you remember: you’ve been listening to your ipod!

February 6, 2009 Posted by | Funnies | , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Oldies Revisited

Some of the great songs of yesteryear are being revised with new lyrics to accommodate their aging fans. They include:

Bobby Darin —
Splish, Splash, I Was Havin’ a Flash.

Herman’s Hermits —
Mrs. Brown, You’ve Got a Lovely Walker .

Ringo Starr —
I Get By With a Little Help From Depends.

The Bee Gees —
How Can You Mend a Broken Hip.

Roberta Flack—
The First Time Ever I Forgot Your Face.

Johnny Nash —
I Can’t See Clearly Now.

Paul Simon—
Fifty Ways to Lose Your Liver

Procol Harem—
A Whiter Shade of Hair.

Leo Sayer —
You Make Me Feel Like Napping.

The Temptations —
Papa’s Got a Kidney Stone.

Abba —
Denture Queen.

Helen Reddy —
I Am Woman, Hear Me Snore.

Leslie Gore—
It’s My Procedure, and I’ll Cry If I Want To.

Willie Nelson —
On the Commode Again

The Righteous Brothers —
You’ve Lost That Livin’ Feeling

Beach Boys
I Wheel Around

Some artists’ songs are still titled appropriately for the geriatric set, although the meaning is different now:

The Association

Simon and Garfunkle
The Sounds of Silence

Jethro Tull
Living in the Past

Tommy Roe

and finally:

Led Zeppelin
Stairway to Heaven

January 15, 2009 Posted by | Funnies | , , , , | Leave a comment